This Christmas felt different. Normally, there's a sense of celebration, an undercurrent of happiness in the air that wraps everyone in its energy. Even when there's sadness, it's often mixed with moments of joy. But this year was different. This year felt like a dark night of the soul. It felt tired, small, and heavy. I felt alone—even though I was surrounded by people, by a whole house full of warmth and laughter. Externally, everything was fine, but internally, it was a different story. There was a quiet sadness, a chaos I couldn’t quite explain.
The thing is, sometimes Christmas, or any holiday for that matter, can feel like this. Sometimes the moments of cheer don’t come easy. Sometimes they last a lifetime, and other times, they only linger for a few seconds. My point in sharing this is to normalize the tough days, the days when everything feels off or heavy—even when it *shouldn’t* feel that way. Who made the rules for how holidays are supposed to feel, anyway?
I’m a firm believer that our thoughts create our reality, our emotions, our experiences. But sometimes, the weight of what we're feeling is too much. Our thoughts can’t override the fatigue, the heaviness, the deep sadness. Sometimes depression sinks in so deeply that no amount of positive thinking can pull us out in an instant. And that’s okay.
Sometimes, just sitting with the sadness, moving through the darkness, is exactly what we need to eventually rise on the other side of it. It might not happen today, it might not happen tomorrow, and it might not happen next year—but that’s okay. The only thing that matters is staying true to yourself, expressing your emotions honestly, and taking care of your needs. Show up for the people who love and support you. Show up for yourself. These things are what build the foundation for a happy, healthy life.
If you're going through the heaviness right now, know that it’s okay to trust it. Perhaps this sadness has a journey for you, something to teach you, a place to lead you. And if that journey happens to unfold during the holiday season, know that you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, walking through it. I hope, in time, we’ll both make it to the other side—stronger, clearer, and with a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Take it one day at a time. You’re doing just fine.
