The journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes, it takes a sudden, unexpected event—a car crash, a life-altering decision, a spiritual awakening—that shakes the foundation of everything you thought you knew about yourself, the world, and your beliefs. It can leave you feeling lost, disoriented, and unsure of how to move forward. This kind of upheaval is deeply challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for transformation.
In this post, we’ll explore what happens when your spiritual journey collides with doubt, when you feel disconnected from your past self and unsure of who you are becoming. We’ll also look at how to navigate this uncertain space and begin the process of reclamation and healing.
The Moment of Disruption
Sometimes, intuition speaks to us, urging us to make a choice. Maybe it’s a quiet feeling, a whispering voice, or just a sense of knowing. But what happens when we don’t listen?
For me, it was the day before a significant event—a decision to pursue something that didn’t feel completely aligned with my truth. I ignored the call of my intuition, the one that told me to go to the movies instead of embarking on a journey into the mountains. The next day, a car crash changed my life completely. The physical pain was intense, but what hurt even more was the existential crisis that followed. How did I get here? Why did I ignore my inner wisdom? What happened to the trust I once had in myself?
It’s in these moments of disruption—whether through physical events like accidents, major shifts in belief, or even spiritual awakenings—that we are faced with a deep reckoning. We may start questioning everything: our past choices, our beliefs, and even the nature of reality itself. For me, this led to questioning everything I had once held dear—my upbringing in Mormonism, my connection to God, and the very nature of spirituality.
The Crisis of Faith
What happens when the foundation of your beliefs begins to crumble? For many, this is a painful and disorienting experience. When a belief system you once held close starts to feel untrue, it can create a profound sense of loss. The structure that once provided comfort and certainty is no longer there, and you’re left feeling adrift in a sea of confusion.
In my case, as I navigated the aftermath of this crash and the spiritual shifts I was going through, I began to realize that everything I had been taught about God—about a male, patriarchal figure—no longer resonated. I questioned the very existence of God and spirituality itself. How did I get here? How did this belief system, this identity, suddenly feel so false?
This is the paradox of spiritual crisis: the more you let go of old beliefs, the more you enter a space of void—a place where certainty no longer exists, and the questions pile up without clear answers. But within this void, there’s room for something new to emerge, if you can sit with the discomfort long enough to let it unfold.
The Energy Drain: Releasing What No Longer Serves
As I continued down this path, I began to feel the effects of being in environments that no longer aligned with my energy. I found myself surrounded by people whose low vibrational energy, belief systems, and unresolved issues drained me. It’s as if my soul, my life force, was being siphoned off by these interactions.
When we find ourselves in relationships or environments that do not support our highest growth, it can feel like we’re losing touch with our true selves. The joy, the vitality, the sense of connection—all of it seems to disappear.
In some cases, you might even feel as though you're losing a part of your spiritual team—those invisible guides, higher energies, or soul connections that once made you feel anchored. This can feel like an abandonment, even if it's your own soul making the decision to distance itself for self-preservation. It’s a painful realization, but it’s also a necessary one.
To move forward, we have to recognize when our energy is being drained and take steps to protect and reclaim it. Sometimes, this means severing ties with people or environments that no longer serve us, even if it’s difficult. And sometimes, it means allowing ourselves to sit in the discomfort of being “between worlds” while we recalibrate our energy and our beliefs.
Reclamation: Rebuilding Yourself from the Inside Out
In the face of all this pain and confusion, you might feel like you’re losing yourself. And in a way, you are. But in this space of dissolution, something new is waiting to emerge. You are in the process of reclamation.
Reclamation isn’t about going back to who you were before. It’s about reassembling the fragments of your soul and your self-concept into a new, more aligned version of you. The first step is acknowledging that this process isn’t about finding all the answers right away. It’s about honoring the grief, the confusion, and the space of not knowing.
Here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t have to have it all figured out in the moment. It’s okay to sit with the uncertainty, to lean into the discomfort of having your foundation rocked. Sometimes, the answers come when we stop forcing them and allow ourselves to be in the present moment, open to what the next step might be.
The key is to start small. Reconnect with what feels true in your body, in your heart, in your intuition. What sparks a sense of aliveness? What resonates with you now, even if it’s different from what you believed before? This is the process of rebuilding from the inside out—of allowing the truth of who you are to emerge from the ashes of what’s been lost.
Moving Forward
As you navigate this confusing and painful space, remember that you are not alone. Many of us go through spiritual crises at various points in our lives, and while they can feel isolating, they are also opportunities for profound transformation. You are shedding old layers, and although it may feel like a loss, it’s ultimately a necessary step in your evolution.
The path forward is unclear right now, and that’s okay. Sometimes, the next steps reveal themselves gradually, often when we stop trying to control the process. Trust that your intuition, when you start listening again, will guide you. And even when your energy feels drained, remember that this too shall pass, and you will emerge from this period stronger and more aligned with your true self.
You are in a moment of reclamation—a rebuilding of self and spirit. It may take time, but the answers are within you, and with each small step forward, you’ll begin to feel the light returning. Your journey is unfolding, even if it feels uncertain right now. Trust that what’s next will be worth it, even if you can’t see the path just yet.
Conclusion
Spiritual crises are not failures, but rather invitations for growth and healing. They are painful and confusing, but they also offer a profound opportunity to let go of outdated beliefs and reconnect with your true essence. The process of reclamation may feel uncomfortable, but in time, it will lead you back to a deeper, more authentic version of yourself.
Stay present with the questions. Honor the grief and the confusion. And most importantly, trust that you are on the brink of something transformative. Your spiritual journey is unfolding in ways you can’t yet fully understand, but in time, you’ll see the beauty of this transformation. Keep going.